Once upon a time, I had this Fulani boy working on the farm; I used to employ Fulani to tend cattle. The Farm Manager was always complaining about Sadiq. But Sadiq knew cattle. I kept him in my employ despite the misgivings of older but Southern staff.
One day, he organized a revolt and got many of the Northern Boys to quit. I lost 4 staff on the day. My main supervisor; a kid from Adamawa whom has been with me for almost 10 years stepped in and rallied the troops. The rebellious Sadiq left; the others that revolted tried to come back but I asked the Farm Manager to pay them off.
A few weeks later, the Sadiq visited the farm at night, broke through the fence and stole a cow...Cattle Rustling. I poured my boys into the town and we searched for this Sadiq even in the cattle market. His parents denied his whereabouts.
One faithful day, we caught Sadiq and gave a Citizen's Arrest. But there were some Fulani Soldiers stationed in the area. They intervened and insisted that we left Sadiq. We refused and someone called the DPO.
The DPO showed up....and guess what? He was a Caliphate citizen too. Judgement was delivered on the spot: "Sadiq is not with the cow now and there's no evidence he stole the cow"! This was despite eye witnesses and the buyer of the cow confessing that Sadiq sold him a branded cow with our Ranch Brand! In fact, the DPO threatened to arrest my boys and shut down my farm! SMH... This is the same cattle they kill for...maybe we ought to have done a Benue on Sadiq instead of the Caliphate Security System!
I called my boys to let it go. I relieved my farm of other Fulani employees and had a drink! This happened in Southern Nigeria!!!
This is "One Nigeria"! The cattle was owned by a Southerner but by the structure of the country, a Fulani has the right to appropriate cattle!
One Nigeria: Which Version?
The idea of One Nigeria in itself is not bad. As an individual, I try to understand those that profess this One Nigeriana thingy....
If there must be a "one Nigeria", then we should address the fundamentals of this country as a perquisite.
And in truth, the Caliphate are the major beneficiaries of this monumental carnage called Nigeria and have made it clear they do not want it changed in any way; they wrote the Constitution that wrought this structure, and this structure has made this country an unbearable Cage of Slavery. With the stance of the Caliphate, a not-so-silent war has been declared on those that desire a restructured, efficient and equitable country. By so doing, the Caliphate wants a "one Nigeria" of the Slave and the Master type as a panacea for peace and stability! We totally reject that Nigeria!!!
The Igbo Nation
The Izon nation
The Yoruba Nation
The Ogoni Nation
The Efik Nation
The Benin Nation...
...and several more absolutely reject that Nigeria and her demonic 1999 constitution.
So we have two large regions or subcountries whose ideologies of countryhood are antithetical to one another. So what do we do?
We seek alliances with those of similar ideologies. In that, alliances do abound.
And we seek rapprochement with the caliphate by presenting the basis of restructuring. We could refer to that as "some accommodation for alliances" too. Unfortunately, all overtures are being rejected by the caliphate since they feel they hold the aces. They love the country as a Banana Republic where a few hold sway and are Lords that the Law must obey, Reformers largely from the South and parts of the Middle Belt want a country of laws, fairness, justice and equity like Switzerland!
So wishing for a "one Nigeria" in itself is not bad; the challenge is "what type"?
They seem to want the current despicable one; we shall never allow them to enjoy it.
We want a decent type where all men, regions and religions are equal, autonomous regions, parliamentary center, and sanity. They don't want us to have that! Pray tell, what else is WAR???
With the above, a "one Nigeria" becomes a farce rather than a fact!
Let the nations contained in the Nigeria rise and determine the direction of the Nigeria and the modalities of being "one"! Be gone with the artificial states and a stupid constitution already!
Therein lay our angst...there would be no Nigeria at all if we do not restructure and pretty fast too; never mind the farce called "one"!
This "One Nigeria"!
So the 3rd Mahdi ascended the throne in the year of the Lord 2015AD. The Children of the Caliphate were told that liberation had come and were encouraged to spread round the country and own it!
And spread they did!
From Owerri to Lagos; vast communities of the citizens of the United Arewa Emirates are spreading. Believe me, in several parts of the South, they even have larger population than the indigenous people! And they fear no one... You know why? The military garrisons all around are headed by them, most of the Divisional Police Headquarters are run by them, the Commissioners of Police and most DSS Directors. These people are a force to be reckoned with even in your villages!
So I'd just got back to Nigeria and a close associate informed me about some diesel machines up for sale in Lagos. We went hunting from the East to Lagos. We went hunting for these machines along the impossible Oshodi-Apapa Express Way with its intractable traffic! After a long hard day, we took the Cele "Bypass" so as to escape the worst of the traffic.
Now, the UAE citizens virtually own the area and junction; they run the Okada Business and the food stalls in the area. And bold in their command of the road!
So here was I, driving this huge workhorse...and very slowly, trying to avoid the daredevil UAE Riders that would drive across the front grill like trucks don't kill people any longer. This truck weighs almost 4Tons and a direct hit would send anyone to his maker! So I slowed down to a crawl!
But my village people had other plans as they discovered I was being too careful!
I heard a crash behind me! I knew a hard object hit the workhorse! My associate asked me not to stop as it was was a narrow road and a UAE area. But I know these people...so I stopped and stepped out of the cabin to inspect what had it my gentle giant!
Behold, it was an Okada, with a UAE citizen as rider! The Okada had run into me from behind, handlebars were bent while the rider, passenger and Okada were strewn all over Cele Bus stop! My associate took fright and said we should flee despite the fact that we did no wrong. I asked him in Igbo to be calm while my brains went into over drive!
We had been surrounded by angry UAE citizens whom were already speaking in Hausa that we be dealt with. A couple of them were saying we weren't at fault but their voices being drowned! See me, freshly baked from Obodo Oyibo about to be lynched by these expert killers!
But my ancestors whispered into my ears: "My son, bring on the charm!"
And I obeyed; my budding American accent flew out the window back to Houston without booking a flight! I broke into fluent Hausa! I cursed the Ambode government, cursed the 'stupid' workhorse; cursed the road, cursed the pavement, and cursed myself for not having eyes behind and for not realising that a younger brother of mine from Arewa was riding a Limousine Okada without headlights!
I knelt down on the road (still chattering in Hausa; both correct and incorrect phrases), raised the sleeves of the dude's trousers, palpated his legs, checked his head, palpated his torso, asked him to breathe in...and carried out a thorough medical examination that would have made Doctors Maduka and Olutoyosi green with envy! Oh boy, see as the UAE citizens calmed down! They told themselves I was a good 'Mai Maganin" (Medicine man or doctor meanwhile, I no even saby medicine sam sam; na mechanic I be). The dude was still in pains. I directed the others to get the bike off the road. We got the young man to the pavement. He was in some slight pains but I had the feeling that he was enjoying the attention!
I knew I had the crowd in my palms, and I had saved my associate, my workhorse and me from a certain death! I removed my wallet and gave the boy 10k to get some pain relievers! Even I was shocked at the speed of his instantaneous recovery at the sight of the 10k! Jesus would have been proud of me; the 13th disciple fa!
Well, they escorted us to the vehicle and called us "Ranka Daidai" as we drove off. I felt relieved and lucky; if I hadn't the knowledge of Hausa and first aid, we would most probably have been killed and forgotten by now!
A kilometer further down the road, a group of Southern MOPOL arrested all that were passing one way; while they took the others to the police station for being unable or unwilling to pay, I parted with 20k (what was the point arguing about the 20k when we just escaped being killed by UAE citizens)...and they provided an escort for me to guide me out of the traffic using more "one ways"!
You're all most welcome to our "One Nigeria"